Clogged With Wishes

Saturday night...surprise, surprise :).

So, like most of the time, I think Elisabeth Elliot says what I'm thinking a lot better than I can put it into words. Here it is:

"I was wishing that my wishes were what God wished, and if my wishes were not what God wished, I wished that I could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there." Elisabeth Elliot, passion and purity

It's amazing to me that pursuing God's will can be peacful and quiet one day then loud and complicated the next. After hearing these words from Elisabeth Elliot I realized why in the last few days I have felt weak and distant from God. As soon as I say Yes to his calling I simultaneously receive wishes and desires in my heart that cause me to reconsider the direction I'm heading. That doesn't mean that I desire God's will any less, just that circumstance has allowed me to see it differently in my life. The problem? you may ask. The problem is that I begin to wonder how God can work his will in me if I am clogged by these wishes and desires of my own. Now as I write this, it is obvious that the conclusion is that I should rest in God's peace regardless of my circumstance. This is true, but the wishes ARE still there; day and night; hour by hour. I must take all of my wishes and desires captive to be hidden under the authority of Christ, and wait patiently for the Lord to lead me through life in his will. I must rest in a place where true joys are to be found.

Almighty God, You alone can bring into order

the unruly wills and affections of sinners:

Grant you people grace to love what you command

and desire what you promise;

That, among the swift and varied changes of the world,

Our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found;

through Jesus Christ our Lord,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

One God, now and forever. Amen

(The book of common prayers)

Sacred Claim

First off, I apologize to all who at one time read my blog. I am going to throw out the excuse of being without a computer. My roommate has a computer and so does my work, but I am rarely on it long enough to blog about the things on my heart that I really want to share. However, tonight my roommate is gone and I am once again left pondering alone in my apartment on a Saturday night. Please don't feel sorry for me though, lately I intentionally spend time alone for no other purpose than to hear my creator speak to me. I am beginning to enjoy a newfound appreciation for introversion.

With that being said, life has been full of revelation, joy, and contentment for me in Bowling Green. I have come to know the full meaning of God "bringing all things together for the good of those who love him." (Romans 8:28). I believe there a is still a lot of good to be seen in my lifetime, but in this stage of my life I am seeing an abundance of goodness and fruit. I am blessed to be lead and taught by a church body whose purpose is to raise up disciples and send them out to bowling green, to the nations and to the ends of the earth. I've always known that God had a great plan for my life--that he would show me a life that brought me pure joy and that rejoiced in the purest of truth. Now, I am confident of this. I am confident of the claim he has taken on my life. This claim is SACRED, it is one that we all have and are called to see with our eyes wide open.

My eyes were truly opened to this while I sat in church a couple of weeks ago pondering where the Lord has brought me and why. It was then that I had one of the simplest yet most profound revelations that I have yet to experience in my life. The life I am living is the ONE life that I have here on this earth--what am I doing with it?? Yes I know, DUH right! I have thought of this before, but not in this way. This time there was a reverence and a Godly fear in the depths of my soul as I pondered. It was then that I began to actually desire God's glory in heaven more than anything here on earth--more than marriage, money, friends, and material things. This is not to say that I do not desire some of these things, but that anything I experience here on earth should only point me to a better inheritance I have in heaven. This also means that I will remain confident in God's purpose for my life and strive to go where I am called. This could mean that he will one day send me to another country, another state, another county, or it could possibly mean that I will continue my life in Bowling Green as I am now--discipling in the church and helping the lost and needy. Whatever that means, I am willing and I am able to go for the one who has paid my debt and has paid it in full.

Elisabeth Elliot talks in her book "Let Me Be a Woman" about a kind of pride that we should all possess; The "right" kind of pride. She actually qoutes from Isak Dinesen's book "Out of Africa" in saying:

" Pride is a faith in the idea that God had when he made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea, and aspires to realize it. He does not strive towards happiness, of comfort, which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him. His success is the idea of God, successfully carried through, and he is in love with his destiny."

I LOVE this! It speaks so much truth into my life, and I hope it does for you as well. Let us be proud of our purpose. Let us desire success in living for his glory, and most of all let his glory be carried out to all the nations through our recognition of his SACRED CLAIM on our lives!

Set-Apart in a Molded World

I want to dedicate this blog to single women who love God and have made a decision to devote their lives to their one true savior, Jesus Christ. Ladies, this life is not a walk in the park, and if you think college is tough...wait for the real world. I am not suggesting that I am miserable and I am not pleading for sympathy. I praise the Lord for where I am in my life and that I am able to share this with you. The path I am on continually leads me to a closer, more intimate relationship with Christ, and for that I am thankful! However, my flesh tells me a different story. The closer I get to my savior the more I hear the enemy remind me that most of my friends are married or that I could have had the "perfect" life had I not made the decision I made to follow the Lord. Girls, we do have the perfect life--all we need is a savior who loves us unconditionally who we can serve and live for, all the while being overfilled with a Joy and a Peace that is beyond understanding.

I am beginning to realize the truth behind living as a Godly woman, and right now that doesn't involve a husband or kids. It haunts me to know that so many women live for Christ in order to find the right husband or that they spend so much time molding themselves to be the "girl that guys want" ( as cosmopolitan would probably put it) and claim to be living for the right purpose on the inside. Ladies, as long as we are searching for our knight in shining armor, we are not living a life set-apart for Christ. Please trust me when I say that I know this, once again, from experience. I can't tell you how many disappointments I've experienced by chasing after a dream that didn't involve being a disciple of Christ. I never truly experienced peace until the Lord taught me to live a life of contentment ( which I still struggle with every day!!) in his unconditional, infallible love.

This summer I had to reach this conclusion the hard way, but this verse stuck with me( I actually had it hanging up in my box :) ). Paul is speaking to the Corinthian church about being married and begins to talk about those who are married and those who aren't married. He speaks of those who are married as being devoted to one another ( not in a negative connotation) but to those who are not married he says this: " The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit, but the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit NOT TO LAY ANY RESTRAINT UPON YOU, but to promote good order and to secure your UNDIVIDED DEVOTION TO THE LORD." 1 Corinthians 7:34-35. I by NO means am knocking marriage in this post. Those of you who know me well know that I want nothing more than to be a wife and a mother one day. I have a great desire to experience that love here on earth, but RIGHT NOW I am called to an undivided devotion to the Lord. I pray earnestly that the Lord may put someone in my life who I can love and serve, but I know that to experience God's best I must give him my best. And if his best for me is that I remain single and serve him in the church and in my career then so be it...I trust him. Praise be the God who can offer us contentment in being set-apart in a world where we may only know a mold!

If you are struggling with this I highly suggest the wisdom of Leslie Ludy in the book set-apart femininity!!

SUPER BLOG

So for those of you who have lost hope in my blog but are reading this right now...Thank you for being patient. I can't tell you how many times I have sat down to describe what the Lord has done in my life in the past 3-4 weeks and drawn out due to the overwhelming amount of thoughts floating around in my head. After reading my last blog, I realized that I really left a lot of you in the dark and I sincerely apologize for that.

After camp, life was confusing--every choice I had to make brought about its own problems, conclusions, consequences, and even fulfillment. I never felt more helpless than I did in this time, and for that I will forever be thankful! As soon as I made the decision in my mind to move to Chattanooga, things started to change. I decided the weekend after camp was over to stay in Bowling Green and spend some time with my dear friend Christy. That Sunday I went to a cookout at a friends house expecting to only partake in some good burgers and fun with friends, but what I got was an answer that I had been waiting for. Her dad is a dentist ( a GREAT dentist!) and that detail honestly slipped my mind until he began discussing my career in dental hygiene with me. The conversation ended in a simple request that I help him out in his office for a couple of weeks, which wasn't promising long term but definitely meant that I had to hang around bowling green a little while longer. After this I had a two hour drive home where I spent almost every minute praying about my conversation with Dr.Clemmons--that the Lord would use me in his office and that he would give Dr.Clemmons discernment in the amount of work I did for him. Eventually, all in the same week, Dr.Clemmons offered me a full-time position in his Brownsville office, I found a place to live, I joined a small group, and I was given the opportunity to lead a small group of college women which is exactly what I feel lead to do. Providence. That word pretty much sums up my life right now. For those of you who have doubted God's ability to provide what you need and more--I am living proof! He really does want the best for us!

When I reflect on this summer and what the Lord taught me through my experience, humility is the only word that comes to mind. This summer I truly learned the meaning of sacrifice--to see myself as nothing in order to serve others. I failed at this A LOT, but for me this summer was about learning and about humbling myself, usually to the point of tears in repentance for every selfish ambition in my heart. My heart was exposed in so many ways this summer, and without that experience I'm not sure if I could handle the world that I am in now. A hymn continues to hum in my mind as I write about this:

"Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe, sin had left a crimson stain he washed it white as snow"

See, -Jesus paid it all- I learned the meaning of this through my experience at camp. I realized the sacrifice that I was called to model through Jesus' endurance of the cross. Jesus resisted sin and pride to the point of shedding his blood, and he constantly reminded me of that this summer when I sinfully wanted attention or recognition for the things I had done. -All to him I owe- Now that I have experienced the depths of his love through his grace, even when my sin was exposed in the deepest parts of my soul, I know even more that everything I have I owe to him. I must fear him even more now than when all I had was faith in his plan for me.

So now I sit....I cry...I marvel...I rest...I have peace and most of all amazement. Thank you for your prayers and for your love and support through a very confusing yet rewarding time in my life. Please pray that I continue to be a faithful steward with the life that I have been given-with my money, my time, my relationships, etc... more to come...I promise :)

Going, Going, Gone...

Sunday I will be heading to Camp Vesper Point for the summer! I love every minute of my time there, but it is always great to get a little note from my dearest friends ( I am cut off from the world 24 hours a day 6 days a week)! With that being said, I would absolutely LOVE to hear from you this summer...sometimes the smallest note of encouragement can turn a day upside down! Here is my address:

Kasey Gabhart
c/o Camp Vesper Point
3216 Lee Pike
Soddy Daisy, TN 37379

I will definitely be updating my blog over the summer, but I will only have access on the weekends! Thanks!

Faithfulness is better than the "AMERICAN DREAM"

I never knew that graduation would truly be as bittersweet as I have experienced it to be. Sweet in knowing that I am no longer bound to Western Kentucky University to fulfill degree requirements and bitter in realizing what the world expects of me as a college graduate. In my mind I am free to fall where the Spirit leads me to do his work and to live for him, but I must confess that the pressures of the American Dream are pressing hard down on me. You wouldn't believe the looks I get when I tell people that I really have no idea what I will be doing or where I will be going after the summer. I proceed to give them the answer they are looking for.."of course I will be working very hard this summer to find a dental office in Bowling Green or Chattanooga and I will have it figured out before I leave camp." While it is very true that I will work very hard to find a job, I do not intend to know for sure if that is where God will place me. My intentions are to work at camp where I am being called and to continue following the Lord's direction from there.

John Piper's sermon "Faithfulness is Better Than Life" penetrated my heart and brought all of my thoughts for the week to a head. All week I have been thinking about and praying for those close to me who have fallen for the American Dream and are now experiencing a "life isn't all its cracked up to be" kind of reality. I realized that their lives were missing one key component--The fear of a God who has power to save and grace to all who seek his face. That is the one element that I had to remind myself of when I was faced with the "after graduation" questions. Paul serves a perfect example in Acts 20:22 when he speaks to the elders saying:

" And now, behold I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me. But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God."

so, what am I doing after graduation? I am going to Chattanooga for the the summer to Invest in other believers and share Christ with kids who are lost, not knowing where he will send me after that; only knowing that money will probably be scarce and it will still be hard to live in this world and to reject the American Dream. I do not do this for myself, but to finish what the Lord has sent me to do; to testify the gospel of the grace of God.

Back to Reality

God's sovereign timing has once again drawn me to this computer screen only to help myself become aware of a lost sense of urgency in my heart. Oh the ups and downs of living in this world! For a straight month my eternal perspective has been immensely off balance, causing my heart to desire things of this world over what God knows is best for me. On spring break I went to Cleveland, Ohio where I was introduced to people whose perspective on life taught me a lot about my own desires. While there I found myself dying to be in their position--desiring to seek the Lord's direction and to pour the love of Christ onto those who are placed in my life. I developed a peace in my heart because I knew that God created me to live exactly how these church planters live in the context of the culture around me. I carried this home with me and began to see my life in Bowling Green in that very same context, but then life happened. When did my heart become hard? Why did it take me so long to fall on my knees before the Lord? A few words come to mind: Doubt, Stress, Fear(not of the Lord), selfish ambition, idolatry. Pick one and I can give you a story! This trial did not come about out of my unwillingness to give my time and life to God; it came with lack of purpose and communication with God. For some time my path seemed extremely dry and not glorifying to God, but out of revelation I see now that this is rooted in my lack of trust.

The Revelation: are you ready? PRAYER. enough said. Wherever God sends me, I must trust that he is using me to intercede on someones behalf. I am going to meet and build relationships with people who do not know what to pray or how to pray to him. I am even going to be in situations where the future is unknown, but the secret to my communication with him is knowing that he is not sending me there for my own satisfaction. And I must also be aware of Where I am right this minute, and I must be here! By this I mean that my job, schoolwork, money, time etc...must only be exercise of my discipline. I am only called to be a steward of what the Lord has given me, not to live for what I have on earth.

"I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over one's work--one's work for God--consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day--the part one can best offer to God. do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it."

--Annie Keary

" The end of the matter; all has been hear. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."

--Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Time to Simplify!

What I am about to say may be the simplest thought I have had in the past 3 months, and because of that I feel that it would be extremely necessary to share with others. A simple thought? You probably don't have time to read one of those; Why waste your time? I mean blogging is all about flaunting the depth of information that we as humans are capable of pondering, right? Well if that were the case then I wouldn't have a blog at all! Sometimes we just need to SIMPLIFY!! In that case, have you ever thought about how simple and beautiful the concept of faith really is? I recently read through the book of Matthew, and I haven't stopped thinking about the small examples of faith that I gathered from that book. I can think of two examples in particular in Matthew Ch.9. On two accounts Jesus heals Human Beings of their illness due to their faith in him as a merciful Christ. Never in these examples does it say that they were healed because they impressed Jesus with their profound thoughts of who he really is. NO!!!! They KNEW that he was the Son of God and that he could perform amazing things! Another example comes from Chapter 15; A woman who knows she is not worthy of Jesus' blessing, but because of her faith receives his healing power for her daughter.

Now, I believe that in Ephesians it says, " For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God. not a result of works, so that no one may boast" Ephesians 2:8-9. By grace you have been saved THROUGH FAITH. Through knowledge...NO. Through the law...NO. God's grace is granted to us simply by our faith. Now, I do not in any way intend to criticize those who have been given a gift to teach the things they have learned and who continue growing in knowledge in order to use this ability; Teaching is a gift from God and should be used by those whom God has called. However, questioning who Jesus is just because our minds can not grasp the thought of a savior signifies a complete lack of faith, and scripture clearly tells us that through our faith in Jesus Christ we are saved from the condemnation of an eternity in hell. Of course, with this proclamation we are called to a commission which in turn leads us to be shaped into the image of Christ ( just a disclaimer for those who read this and say that I am supporting a faith with no action).

Simple in words, but extremely difficult in life. I think things we be a lot more clear and easy if we would just learn to simplify.