Saturday, January 31, 2009

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Who am I? they often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, neighborliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of
Who I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer-

Every time I read this poem it reminds me of the sin I have to deflect everyday in order to be a light for the Lord. Sometimes I wonder the same things about myself that Bonhoeffer wrote of in this poem. Secretly I yearn for praise and even tire of praying. I am distracted by sin while worshiping God. I often do things for my own glorification, and my motives are often impure. I am a sinner and I face a dire need for repentance on a day-to-day basis; not just confession, I actually have to turn from my sin everyday and allow the Lord to replace it. Praise Jesus that amidst our sin we have the grace to be HIS and to live with HIS love and mercy. Praise him that I no longer live in bondage of this sin but that I am free to live a life in obedience to Christ.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

New Perspective

This is just a small reflection on the events that took place last week during the inauguration of our new president. Hopefully a perspective that you will enjoy.

I'm sure we all had different perspectives on the images we saw and words we heard, but as a follower of Jesus Christ I saw a bit of truth that gave me hope for my future and made me thankful for my freedom.

As I watched millions of people around the world come together for their hope in a brighter, more promising future, I could only think of what it would be like if this enthusiasm and praise were directed toward the awesome glory of our Creator. Then I remembered that one day that was going to happen. I was reminded of a particular passage in Romans ( Romans 8:18-25) that talked about our suffering as God's creation and how it does not compare to the glory that will one day be revealed to us. This passage also talks about how creation groans for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and how one day creation will be set free from bondage and decay. This passage ends in saying:

" For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we wait for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8: 24-25

Knowing this, I chose to look at this wonderful day in history as a reminder of what will one day become of God's creation, and to continue fulfilling my purpose here in patience-always looking forward to the coming of our Lord.

This day also reminded of how thankful I am for my freedom in Jesus Christ. I've lived in a life of bondage. I know what it feels like to be covered in sin rather than in Jesus' redeeming blood. Looking back, I see nothing but hope in the freedom that I now have from my sins. This freedom gives me so much more to look forward to than the freedom I have to live in this country. Every right, every material possesion, every assest I have in this world will one day fade away, but God's promise to me for an eternity spent with my him will never die. There are so many scriptures to qoute here, but the one that echoes in my head is Galatians 5:1

"For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

That entire chapter is great and I recommend reading it if it sounds new to you.

So basically what Im trying to say is: If you have hope and freedom in Jesus Christ, you can look at these words with a new perspective. A perspective that brings eternal promises for the future.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


okay, so two people have tagged me in this fun little blog tag so its time I own up to my responsibility. Here are the rules:

Here are the rules:
1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer.
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder.
3) Explain the picture.
4) Tag 4 people to do the same. No cheating (cropping, editing, etc.)

okay, I don't have a computer so I actually went to facebook and used my pictures there to do this tag. Not cheating, just improvising!

I find this picture humorous because I really have no idea what is going on, lol. This is Ben Carr, Preston Davis, and Rob Herron...I worked with all of them at camp last summer. Ben was the media guy, preston the dock daddy, Rob was a counselor and he led worship. This picture was taken at Mis Amigos in Hixson during boat driver training, and I'm pretty sure Ben was trying to make Preston feel awkward, Preston just smiles because theres a camera in his face, and Rob is just Rob..I have no This is just one of the many awesome memories I have from Camp last summer, I could probably do a blog a day about these photos and enjoy every minute of it!! Camp is and always will be a huge part of my life and I am so thankful for all of you who made the memories of that place so sweet in my heart :) Love you all!!

Now I have to tag other people, sooooo......

1. Kristin Mardis...BEST FRIEND!!
2. Jessica Paulsen
3. Brandie Lindsey
4. Joanna Kyle

Have Fun! sorry if you've already been tagged!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Just Go With It

As I type, I haven't an inkling of a clue what I am going to name this blog. I also do not have organized thoughts as I usually do when I sit down to share something. All that I have is the wonderful peace of knowing hope in my savior.

Have you ever desired something so badly that you weren't sure you could make it through the week without knowing if God is going to give it to you? If you say no, then I will give you this chance to secretly admit that you're wrong.............................................okay, now that we're all on the same page I will continue. After realizing how selfish it is to demand this of God, have you ever decided that following him without this desire fulfilled is possible and maybe even rewarding? If we claim to follow him then we should and MUST have this outlook on all of life's demands. The cost of discipleship is high and carrying our cross everyday is a command in scripture. Take a minute to meditate on Luke 14:25-33. It's a long passage, so if you want to follow along you may actually have to get your Bible out. Here are some tidbits:

vs. 27 " Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple"
vs.33 " Therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple"

Basically, from this passage we can gather that from the time we received salvation we were made aware of our calling as believers ( matthew 28:19-20). So why is it so hard for us to look past the happiness of the world in order to find joy in Christ? I'm not pretending to be a perfect example of this biblical definition of discipleship, but in recent circumstance I am learning to see through to the core of this concept.

This doesn't mean that life here is supposed to always be suffering, lonliness, sadness, etc... Look at Davids words in psalm 27:

" Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Patience, the key to discerning the Lords will! Also the understanding that this "goodness" may not always be what we expect it to be.

With that being said, as believers we all desire to see good in the land of the living and to have peace about living in the Lords will, but a fickle heart will never truly see the beauty and joy of trusting the Lord! Elisabeth Elliot once said:

" A steadfast heart is not prone to fickleness"

and that has been in my head everyday to remind me of the cost required. Now, I think i will name this blog " Just Go With It". Because that worked for me tonight.