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As contrary as it may appear, the last couple of weeks have been very rough for me. I would say that currently the Lord is teaching me a lot about being his child in a world that has adopted a life outside of the perfect design that he wants us to see and live. I say that this has been rough for me because I have been and am in situations that my human nature tells me are lonely and uncomfortable, but the word of God tells me differently. Someone recently pointed me toward Hebrews 12, where I studied for days until I finally saw the reality and truth behind this season of my life. This is a time of discipline, where I will learn to endure - a time of putting everything under the authority of Christ so that he can mold me into a child of his who walks in the faith that her creator is working everything for the good of his glory. A time of constant thirst for discernment and knowledge of truth. Especially a time for learning about the patience of becoming a woman who fears the Lord in all of her words, decisions, and actions. I want to make every day that I have on this earth count for the glory of our God, and I want to see his goodness in every situation that he sovereignly places me in.
" Until the will and affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone accept, his LORDSHIP. The cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heart's truth . My heart I knew would forever be a lonely hunter unless settled "" Where true Joys are to be found.""
- Elisabeth Elliot
This is such a beautiful line, and it is so true! Unless my passion , will, and affections are brought under the Lord's authority, I will never see his Lordship in my life. I will never thirst for his wisdom or trust that he knows what is best for me.
Can I just say first of all that I could never be thankful enough for the mercy that God has had on me, and for the Grace that he has shown me so that I am able to share with you and others what he is doing in my life. Why I have been chosen to become a steward of his love and grace I will never understand, but I do know that I accept it without question.
With that being said, God has definitely revealed a lot to me in the past few months. I do believe that the most recurrent question on my mind in this time of my life has been, "where next?" As college students we are faced with many life altering questions such as "who am I going to marry?", "where am I going to live?", "which career path do I take?", and the most popular "what is my calling?". I am here to tell you that persistant wondering into the nature of God's will for our lives will only lead us into a state of confusion and may even possibly convince us that we can figure these things out on our own. Don't get me wrong, it is very important to make wise decisions about our future, but what is our source of guidance when we make these decisions? Are we seeking guidance and discernment from the Lord or are we taking things into our own hands because we are tired of waiting on the Lord to miraculously reveal to us "the calling" that he has for our life?
Trust me when I say that I ONLY share thoughts that I have learned through MY experiences. My most valuable source for this blog is my own sinful nature and the Lords restoration of that sin. I have spent countless hours asking the same questions that Iaddressed in the above paragraph, and the Lord has undoubtedly and gracefully led me into understanding of his character. God's will can seem complex and even imposssible to figure out, but I am here to tell you that God has revealed the essence of his will and purpose for our lives through his scripture:
"Finally then, Brothers, We ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus Christ, that as you recieved from us how you ought to live and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For THIS is the will of God, your sanctification ( or Holiness)..."
1 Thessalonians 4:1-3
As you can see, God's will lies within our pursuit of holiness. God's decree ( the command and plan of God for eternity) is lived out when we seek to live a life that is pleasing to him. So now that we know what God's will is, how do we seek God's guidance in fulfilling his will? John Piper puts it best when he says:
" God guides us by bringing our hearts and minds into harmony or sympathy with his own heart and mind so that when we study a situation, we discern ( you might even say intuit) what path would be BEST accord with the character and purposes of god that we know from scripture"
- John Piper in his sermon " The Goodness of God and the Guidance of Sinners"
That pretty much sums it up, and David tells us in Psalm 25 how to pray for this guidance when we are in situations that have left us questioning our decisions.
" Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I will wait all the day long." - Psalm 25:4-5
As Christians, it is our duty to be in a constant pursuit of God's character through study of his word and constant prayer. If we do not fear him enough to ask him for wisdom and discernment then we are ultimately looking to the wisdom of our flesh, which will lead us down a road of destruction. If this is an issue in your life, then I encourage you to read the rest of psalm 25 and to check out John Pipers sermon on Desiringgod.org for a better understanding of this, and I also encourage you to trust that the Lord will guide you and that the results will bless you beyond measure!!
"Discipleship usually Brings us into the necessity of choice between duty and desire. They are not always mutually exclusive, however. When our hearts are set on obedience, we can be sure of the needed wisdom to tell the difference between a conflict and a harmony. It may be a slow and painful process."
-Elisabeth Elliot "Passion and Purity"
So, as you can see, I picked up another book and once again I found the right book at the right time!! Elisabeth Elliot has the wisdom and experience that every young Godly woman needs to hear during this critical time of her life.
The reason that I could not put this book down was because as Elisabeth recalled her experiences as a young single woman, I could relate every ounce of my thought life and spiritual struggles to the ones that she described having as a senior in college. This time of searching and figuring things out is so critical in a womans life. I know this because I am a young woman attempting to live according to Gods will in a world where desire is anything but waiting for what the Lord can bring to us. The most common desire of a woman in this world is to be loved unconditionally; meaning that she will go to any length to manipulate this "love" into being what she had always imagined it to be ( Notice I said "in this world"). A woman under God's provision knows that her father loves her unconditionally and that her desire is only to please him and to rest in his grace. The hard part of this picture is knowing where our earthly desires end and our heavenly desires take over.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart"
- psalm 37:4
This psalm is a comfort to many of us, but I am afraid that we have taken it to mean that when we trust in the Lord we get everything WE want. I know I have taken it that way in the past, and that has actually been my struggle and my prayer for months upon months. Endless times I have asked the Lord to reveal HIS desires, HIS will, HIS direction, and all he had to show me were these words:
" Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of the things will be given to you as well."
- Matthew 6:33
" Whom have I in heaven thee? and there is none on earth that I desire beside thee."
- psalm 73:25
" The Lord said to Aaron, " You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any share among them; I am your share and your inheritance among the israelites.""
- Numbers 18:20
So back to Elisabeth's qoute: "...It may be a slow and painful process." I know that the process of discerning God's will from my own desires may be a hard road, but I also know that as of today my only desire is to live in obedience to the one who gave his son so that I may live in his kingdom. Because of that, I am confident that he will show me HIS will, HIS direction, and HIS desires.
Those of you who know me know that I love pearls. It's not the price I love, but the gentle classy touch that a pearl can add to a simple ordinary look. It wasn't until recently that I realized the symbolism that a simple strand of pearls had to my life. For those of you who do not know, a pearl is made when a piece of sand or something of that nature is lodged into an oyster causing an irritation within the shell. The oyster then forms somewhat of a shell around this irritation thus resulting in a beautiful pearl.
My sin is very symbolic to the sand within this oyster shell. For the longest time, I allowed my sin to remain with the other thousands of grains of sand in this world. I was comfortable on the beach and on the ocean floor where I fit in with so many other grains of sand. I was completely unaware of what God could make of my life if I allowed him to take this sin, but all along I could see him;I knew his shell was not far from me. The moment I finally allowed him to transform my sin a beautiful jewel was created, handcrafted by the creator of the universe.
I still have so many irritations in my life that do not reflect the love that Christ has shed on me, but out of his grace he pulls me in and makes pearl after pearl out of my ugly sin. My prayer is that he continues to strand my pearls, and that one day I will wear a necklace displaying the fruit that he has produced out of my life.
I am so excited that he has given me this time to be his and to really learn how I can use my gifts to serve him. I know that through this time I have in waiting for the Lord to reveal his calling for my life I am going to grow into the woman that will one day bring glory to his name. Then I can proudly wear the necklace that has been so carefully crafted by the one true love of my life...Jesus Christ.
