Christmas at St.Jude

This year I spent Christmas at St.Jude. Bummer, you might say, but really it was one of the most blessed Christmas's I have ever had. Usually my Christmas mornings revolve around waking up, opening presents, then lounging around the house all day eating leftovers and watching movies. Yesterday, presents were the last thing on my mind. We woke up very early to take my nephew Phillip to the hospital so Santa could come visit him along with his sister. St.Jude let my Sister and her husband pick out Christmas gifts for their sick little girl and even for little phillip. When I say gifts I mean more than you could ever imagine giving a child on christmas morning. They gave away things such as DVD players, Nintendo DS, bikes, movies, games, etc...and all for FREE!!! Kaelyn got a handheld dvd player, some movies, games and lots more! St.Jude continues to amaze me with their service and thoughtfulness. All that I wanted to do on Christmas morning was be with my family, comfort my sister, and see joy in Kaelyns eyes, and I experienced all three of these wonderful things. For the first time in two days, I saw Kaelyn raise up out of bed with excitement in her eyes and to me, that was Christmas. God gave our family many blessings and this Christmas I learned not to take them for granted.


I also have to take the time to mention how thankful I am to be spending the rest of my life with JR, who is selfless and wonderful!! He came to St.Jude on his birthday to be with me and he will never truly know how much that meant to me and my family. Not only did he comfort me, he helped tremendously with little Phillip! He carted him around because he is possibly the most stout two year old I have ever known, and he even stayed with him on christmas morning while Kaelyn opened her presents so my mom and I could be with her. I guess I should mention too that Phillip threw up all over the place while JR was watching him-just a minor glitch in the plans, but I think he would consider it a growing experience. JR is a trooper and I love him more everday!!! Thank you JR for all that you have done for us, and I think you are officially initiated into the family ;)

For those of you who read my blog and would like an update: Kaelyn is responding really well to the treatment. She is experiencing a massive amount of side effects and is very sick most of the time, but the mass in her chest is shrinking and the chemo is doing its job. She is having a hard time understanding her sickness and really doesn't want to hear about it so pray for her that she will have a better understanding as Cal and Krystal try to explain things to her the best they can. She will be having a rough day today with chemo treatment, spinal tap, and a blood transfusion, so especially lift prayers up for her today that her body would continue to fight. Thanks EVeryone!

God is good, ALL the time

As most of you know my neice, Kaelyn Adams, was diagnosed today with T-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). She is a beautiful, precious child of God who has more faith than my entire family combined. She has been sick on and off for the past two months and has been in and out of the doctor with diagnosis after diagnosis. It wasn't until they identified a large mass in her chest that they suspected cancer, but as soon as they found this they sent her immediately to St.Jude's Children's Hospital in Memphis, TN. That is where I am now, sitting in a hotel room waiting for my 2 year old nephew to wake up from a nap. I have become his keeper in the last two days, but I'm loving every minute of it!

This is a nightmare for our family, but through it all I am reminded of one thing. Although this fallen world brings us suffering that is sometimes unbearable, we rest in savior who brings healing and hope of eternity to our hearts. The more I hear about unfaithful marriages, murders, and sweet children with cancer, the more I thirst for eternity with my savior.

Long story short, please pray for my family, for kaelyn's doctors, and for Kaelyn. But also remember to have heaven always on your mind.

Grace Revealed

Grace seems so simple. Grace-receiving something we don't deserve. We sin, we repent, we are loved. Not a hard concept to grasp. Unless your name is Kasey and you are a little slow at recognizing a good thing when you see it. Reflecting on how God has richly provided for me in the past year only brings me to confusion because I constantly ask myself why? Why does he continue to place wonderful people in my life? Why does he continue to provide for me? Why does he choose to use me for his kingdom work? The fact that I even ask these questions should give me a clue that I've missed the mark, but somehow asking them helped me see the sweet truth behind it all. Today as I walked through mammoth cave thinking out loud with my sweet and patient boyfriend by my side, I realized very quickly that all of my questions led me straight back to the cross. I am almost confident that he could see the light bulb pop over my head when I realized that all I need is JESUS! The more I am provided with, the more I recognize my need for a savior. I have an awesome job, but I can only face the work day when I know the power of the Holy Spirit is working in me to share the love of Christ with my co-workers. My Church family is unbelievable, but they can never love me the way Jesus does. I have a boyfriend who brings a lot of joy to my life and whom I am so thankful for, but even he can not satisfy the thirst I have for fellowship with Jesus Christ. Ultimately, Gods grace is shown to me in helping me recognize how insignificant all other things are compared to him. I am so thankful for this truth and pray there are more light bulbs to come!

I probably haven't shared anything profound that you've never heard before, but thats not the point of my blog. I just want you to take part in the simple truths revealed to me by God as I experience life in the "real world". So thats it for today...thank you Mammoth cave for giving me time away from the world to think and thank you J.R. for inspiring me to blog again :)

Here are some pictures from our adventure today.



I made him pose...he felt really awkward :)



pretty deer hangin' out in the road.



we found a pretty waterfall and you guessed it...self timer!! Of COURSE this was our first try, HAH!

Coming Soon...

Sorry for the temporary Hiatus from the blogging world! This summer sort of put me into a blogger identity crisis, but I will be re-vamped and ready to blog before you know it!! I can't wait to fill you in on all that God is doing in my life!

Until next time....

Precious

This is my nephew waiting to have surgery. They found blockage in his kidneys before he was born and are attempting (for the 2nd time) to clear it all up today. Pray for him and for my family. He is just so little and sweet and innocent. You can tell in this picture that he doesn't have a clue..lol!

Pressing On

In the past couple of weeks I've noticed that when I pull my running shoes out of the closet and step into training mode, my body is not the only thing that experiences change. Physical discipline always leads me to a more intimate bond with the Lord.

I signed up to run a 10k with the Mardis family on July 4th, so I figured now would be a great to time to start training. I love to run, but I've always been one to set limits for myself-assuming that my body could not possibly make it when the going gets tough. This time, I have no limits; only goals and expectations. I expect my mind to push my body and my body to endure on EVERY SINGLE run! I have a tendency to become easily discouraged in times when I am pushing myself to reach a goal. I often look around me and wonder why I can't just run 6 miles or why at the end of my first 3 mile run my body wanted to collapse. I am guilty of comparison and of doubt. But this time the the Lord used my circumstances to completely change my outlook on reaching my goals and expectations.

Just the other day I ran 2.5 miles, which doesn't sound like a lot, but I was only in week two of my training so my body was adjusting. This run was a cake walk until the last half mile. It was then that my legs began to feel heavy and my chest began to weaken. I also began to feel that doubt creep in. My mind told me that this pain was a sign of weakness, that I wasn't a runner, and that I should just give up if I can't even run this small distance free of pain. Then the Lord intervened with his word:

" Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14

These words are ones that I have heard repeatedly throughout my life. Church, camp, bible study, etc..., but in this context their impact somehow spread much deeper than the surface. Running is hard but LIFE is harder, and if I throw my hands in the air every time the world smacks me in the face then I am defeated and ultimately this defeat will stand firmly as a wall between me and my savior. In trusting the Lord with my heart, I have also promised perseverance. When I run I always visualize the pavement at least 10 steps ahead of me, and I have realized that in life I must do the same. It's easy to allow life's present circumstances to hinder my hope for the future, but I have vowed to keep my eyes on the path ahead; not looking back, but STRAINING forward.

Know that writing this is harder than it seems. I started writing this post two weeks ago and am now seeing how I have allowed life to leave me defeated. Today I took a long drive down a one lane country road. I was by myself, windows down, radio off, and I had no idea where I was. One thing I do know-God used this time to speak to me, to bring to light how life was bogging me down. On this drive he showed me freedom and made me vulnerable to who I am in HIM. For a short amount of time I was able to see far enough ahead to live in hope that God has great things planned for me. He doesn't need me but he is CHOOSING to use me every day for the rest of my life. Somehow I lost sight of this. I felt as if my days of impacting others for him were over....the ridiculousness of that is inexpressible.

This season in life is different from any other, and while I have never felt so stable I have also never felt such a strong desire for complacency. I praise my Lord that he has offered me a remedy for this toxic desire-perseverance. Keep pressing on.

He set my feet upon a rock.....now I know!

So I'm just gonna say it-I love to cry..there... I admit it! Sometimes nothing feels better than an outpouring of emotion that has been waiting to come out for days, weeks, maybe even months! Trust me, this doesn't happen often, but when I do feel that rush of emotion spiraling through my chest it is absolutely vital to my soul that this rush pour out of my face. I believe the most rewarding part of this emotional force is that in the moment I feel absolutely vulnerable to the Love of my savior. All too often I take his Love for granted, but the more I recognize my doubt and fear the more I feel his embrace.

Last weekend I found myself looking for answers, wondering if I could ever be confident in knowing who I am in Christ; Wishing I could speak and act with the boldness of the Holy Spirit; Praying for peace and begging for Joy. It was in these moments when the words of this wonderful psalm began to cycle through my head:

" I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. 3He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3

This absolutely crushed my fear and humiliated my doubt. I waited, and faithfully my Lord answered. Almost immediately after recognizing my impatience he clutched my heart and pulled me to safety in his arms. He set my feet on a rock and put a new song in my mouth; a song of praise to him, who loves unconditionally! He literally put a song in my mouth, and I went to bed singing it on Sunday night:

Jesus , Lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let you go
You carried me from the miry clay
set my feet upon a rock and now I know
I love you, I need you
Though my world fall I'll never let you go
My savior, my closest friend
I will worship you until the very end

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Who am I? they often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were
compressing my throat,
yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, neighborliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of
mine.
Who I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer-

Every time I read this poem it reminds me of the sin I have to deflect everyday in order to be a light for the Lord. Sometimes I wonder the same things about myself that Bonhoeffer wrote of in this poem. Secretly I yearn for praise and even tire of praying. I am distracted by sin while worshiping God. I often do things for my own glorification, and my motives are often impure. I am a sinner and I face a dire need for repentance on a day-to-day basis; not just confession, I actually have to turn from my sin everyday and allow the Lord to replace it. Praise Jesus that amidst our sin we have the grace to be HIS and to live with HIS love and mercy. Praise him that I no longer live in bondage of this sin but that I am free to live a life in obedience to Christ.

New Perspective

This is just a small reflection on the events that took place last week during the inauguration of our new president. Hopefully a perspective that you will enjoy.

I'm sure we all had different perspectives on the images we saw and words we heard, but as a follower of Jesus Christ I saw a bit of truth that gave me hope for my future and made me thankful for my freedom.

As I watched millions of people around the world come together for their hope in a brighter, more promising future, I could only think of what it would be like if this enthusiasm and praise were directed toward the awesome glory of our Creator. Then I remembered that one day that was going to happen. I was reminded of a particular passage in Romans ( Romans 8:18-25) that talked about our suffering as God's creation and how it does not compare to the glory that will one day be revealed to us. This passage also talks about how creation groans for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and how one day creation will be set free from bondage and decay. This passage ends in saying:

" For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we wait for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8: 24-25

Knowing this, I chose to look at this wonderful day in history as a reminder of what will one day become of God's creation, and to continue fulfilling my purpose here in patience-always looking forward to the coming of our Lord.

This day also reminded of how thankful I am for my freedom in Jesus Christ. I've lived in a life of bondage. I know what it feels like to be covered in sin rather than in Jesus' redeeming blood. Looking back, I see nothing but hope in the freedom that I now have from my sins. This freedom gives me so much more to look forward to than the freedom I have to live in this country. Every right, every material possesion, every assest I have in this world will one day fade away, but God's promise to me for an eternity spent with my him will never die. There are so many scriptures to qoute here, but the one that echoes in my head is Galatians 5:1

"For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

That entire chapter is great and I recommend reading it if it sounds new to you.

So basically what Im trying to say is: If you have hope and freedom in Jesus Christ, you can look at these words with a new perspective. A perspective that brings eternal promises for the future.

Tagged!

okay, so two people have tagged me in this fun little blog tag so its time I own up to my responsibility. Here are the rules:

Here are the rules:
1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer.
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder.
3) Explain the picture.
4) Tag 4 people to do the same. No cheating (cropping, editing, etc.)



okay, I don't have a computer so I actually went to facebook and used my pictures there to do this tag. Not cheating, just improvising!


I find this picture humorous because I really have no idea what is going on, lol. This is Ben Carr, Preston Davis, and Rob Herron...I worked with all of them at camp last summer. Ben was the media guy, preston the dock daddy, Rob was a counselor and he led worship. This picture was taken at Mis Amigos in Hixson during boat driver training, and I'm pretty sure Ben was trying to make Preston feel awkward, Preston just smiles because theres a camera in his face, and Rob is just Rob..I have no idea..lol. This is just one of the many awesome memories I have from Camp last summer, I could probably do a blog a day about these photos and enjoy every minute of it!! Camp is and always will be a huge part of my life and I am so thankful for all of you who made the memories of that place so sweet in my heart :) Love you all!!


Now I have to tag other people, sooooo......


1. Kristin Mardis...BEST FRIEND!!
2. Jessica Paulsen
3. Brandie Lindsey
4. Joanna Kyle

Have Fun! sorry if you've already been tagged!

Just Go With It

As I type, I haven't an inkling of a clue what I am going to name this blog. I also do not have organized thoughts as I usually do when I sit down to share something. All that I have is the wonderful peace of knowing hope in my savior.

Have you ever desired something so badly that you weren't sure you could make it through the week without knowing if God is going to give it to you? If you say no, then I will give you this chance to secretly admit that you're wrong.............................................okay, now that we're all on the same page I will continue. After realizing how selfish it is to demand this of God, have you ever decided that following him without this desire fulfilled is possible and maybe even rewarding? If we claim to follow him then we should and MUST have this outlook on all of life's demands. The cost of discipleship is high and carrying our cross everyday is a command in scripture. Take a minute to meditate on Luke 14:25-33. It's a long passage, so if you want to follow along you may actually have to get your Bible out. Here are some tidbits:

vs. 27 " Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple"
vs.33 " Therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple"

Basically, from this passage we can gather that from the time we received salvation we were made aware of our calling as believers ( matthew 28:19-20). So why is it so hard for us to look past the happiness of the world in order to find joy in Christ? I'm not pretending to be a perfect example of this biblical definition of discipleship, but in recent circumstance I am learning to see through to the core of this concept.

This doesn't mean that life here is supposed to always be suffering, lonliness, sadness, etc... Look at Davids words in psalm 27:

" Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Patience, the key to discerning the Lords will! Also the understanding that this "goodness" may not always be what we expect it to be.

With that being said, as believers we all desire to see good in the land of the living and to have peace about living in the Lords will, but a fickle heart will never truly see the beauty and joy of trusting the Lord! Elisabeth Elliot once said:

" A steadfast heart is not prone to fickleness"

and that has been in my head everyday to remind me of the cost required. Now, I think i will name this blog " Just Go With It". Because that worked for me tonight.